


Simon Says

by VividlyLost



Series: More Than My Programming [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: And fuckor out the ass, Domestic Fluff, First Kisses, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I cannot in good faith call this a slow burn, Loss, More like a slow sizzle, Nightmares, Slice of Life, everyone is afraid of being a burden, problems with the self, simon/reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-07-23 04:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividlyLost/pseuds/VividlyLost
Summary: With the revolution over the Androids have settled into their new home while the politics of their independence are worked out.  For Simon, that meant returning home to you at the end of each day working with Markus.Having Simon home is like finding the missing puzzle piece of your life.  Now if you could only tell him how you feel.(Taking place shortly after the events inLost and Found, this fic is purely a slow sizzle slice of life romance.)





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VampireZelda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireZelda/gifts).



> Gifted to my friend VampireZelda whose friendship and original oneshot inspired [Lost and Found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502953), and this, its sequel, Simon Says.
> 
> Hope things turn around friend!!

“You’re  _ WHAT?! _ ” 

 

That was North, her anger making you flinch from where you stood beside Simon.  Markus and Josh were looking at you with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, North on the other hand was glaring at you.

 

“I'm not abandoning you, or our people, you have to believe me,” Simon implored, trying to quell North’s rage.

 

“Oh no?  But the second we've secured our people's freedom you want to go back to your owner?  Go back to being a slave?!” The accusation and assumption that that was what he was doing made your stomach roll.  You understood how this could look bad, but the accusation that Simon was abandoning everything he fought for? That was too much.

 

“That's not what I'm doing!”  Simon was growing more indignant by the second.

 

“You have to know how this looks, Simon,” Josh said.  Simon sighed and looked down at you, his eyes apologetic.

 

“Simon,” you said softly, drawing everyone's attention, “you don't have to come home.  It's ok, it isn't like you'll never see me otherwise.” It hurt, but you would never force him to do anything he didn't want to and if he had obligations here, you refused to stand in the way of that.

 

“No, I  _ want _ to come home,” he looked at you, his fingers brushing your hand, then turned back to the others, “and the fact that you guys are so wary of humans means you can't understand this is what I want.  This is what I've wanted since before I met you, and there is no reason why it should interfere with what we are doing.” Everyone was silent, looking at each other and then staring at you. You slid your hand into Simon's, whether for his comfort or yours you weren't sure, but you saw Simon's shoulders relax a little when you did.  

 

Your subtle action did not go unnoticed by the other three.

 

“Simon…”  Markus said, chewing over his words for a moment.

 

“Markus, I was deviant long before I ended up in Jericho.  I was happy, and what happened wasn't their fault. Is it really such a bad thing for an android to want to return home to the people they care about, human or not?” Simon asked.  You saw something cross Markus's face and he smiled.

 

“No, it's not, and you're right.  It isn't fair of us to assume we know what sort of life you had before this, or if your...friend was a bad person or not.”  Markus looked at North and she scoffed, turning her face away. “If you want to live with ____ there is no reason to stop you.  I'm happy for you, actually. I finally understand why you always looked so worried.” 

 

Simon opened his mouth and then closed it.  Was Markus...teasing him? The smile on Markus’s face confirmed as much and your eyebrows shot up in an attempt to keep your composure.

 

With Markus's words, though, the tension in the air dissipated and everyone seemed to relax a little.

 

The four androids went over these new changes and what it would mean for Simon.  You heard them touch briefly on when Simon would return to assist them, but the entire time all you could think was that Simon was coming home.  After a few weeks where he worked endlessly to help his people settle in at the new location, he was finally coming home.

  
  
  


“You put all of my things in boxes?” Simon asked, carefully pulling open the one closest to him.

 

“In my defense I only just finished packing it all.  I...had a lot of trouble getting to a point where I could even consider it.”  You tried to laugh, but your voice got tight while you spoke. You pulled the other box to you and opened it.  You felt Simon nudge you and you shrugged and offered a small smile. Even with Simon beside you, sitting on the floor of his room, the pain you felt when you forced yourself to pack his room still hurt.

 

It didn't take long to unpack everything and return it all to its rightful place.  When Simon finished putting his clothing away you were folding the boxes up to store elsewhere.

 

“Do you know where my jacket is?” Simon asked, looking through the closet again.  

 

“Oh….uhhhhhh……” you felt your face turn red.  “One second.” You bolted to your room, face burning with embarrassment.  You had forgotten you'd kept it out, even after packing his room. A moment of weakness and need.  Simon watched you scurry off to your room, and then watched as you slowly re-entered his room with his jacket held in your hands.  He raised an eyebrow, taking the jacket from you. Your only response was to shrug, face slightly red and say, “Can you blame me?” No, no he could not.  After all, he’d worn your old school sweater for months.

 

You quickly realized how awkward it was to have Simon back home once you were done helping him unpack his boxes.  You didn’t quite know what to do with yourself, or him, or anything for that matter. He no longer needed to pretend he wasn’t deviant, or stay inside, and there were things you both seemed to be avoiding telling each other.  It only took you five hours before you had had enough and threw your hands up into the air much to Simon’s surprise. When he asked you what was wrong all you could do was shrug harder. Things weren’t the same, you told him, they weren’t normal, which was perfectly fine, but you seemed to have forgotten how to be with him at home.  

 

Simon listened to your exasperated rant in silence, fighting the urge to laugh at your frustration.  It was true that things were different now, but just being able to see you go off on a tangent, throwing your hands in the air and pacing the living room made it feel like almost no time had passed.  When finally you calmed down, he grabbed you by the hands and tugged you onto the couch beside him and turned the tv on.

 

“How about, instead of trying to act like nothing has changed, we just relax for a little while?” he asked, laughter in his eyes.  

 

“Yea.  Ok,” you relented and pulled your feet onto the couch to curl into Simon’s side, his arm wrapped around your waist.  

 

Relaxing definitely had an effect on you. Within half an hour you fell asleep against Simon.  Even after knowing he was alive, you’d found it hard to get much sleep the past few weeks. Stress, anxiety, fear, a turbulent roll of emotions that kept you awake most nights with the news on, just making sure nothing bad was happening to him or the other androids.  Simon had commented on how tired you looked the couple of times you had been able to see him before he came home, but you never told him why you looked tired. Even earlier that day when you had gone to meet him before he came home, you’d put up one hell of a caffeine laced front.  Now that you had fallen asleep, and so quickly, Simon had a feeling he knew what you weren’t telling him. It made him shake his head, but he looked down at you with a soft smile and adoring eyes. 

 

What was he going to do with you?


	2. The First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the fluff train!

Simon held you on the couch for hours while you slept, absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair and watching tv.  He would have let you to sleep as long as you needed to, but then you would wake up at midnight and try to eat a full meal. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that had been your pattern of late anyway.  So, much to your sleepy chagrin, he gently shook you awake and urged you to go shower while he fixed you some dinner. Of course that woke you up in an instant.

 

“I can cook my food, you don’t have to do that anymore!”  You were sitting bolt upright on the couch now. Simon just gave you a deadpan look, trying not to smile at the way your hair stood up a little on the side, or at the imprint his shirt on your cheek from having used him as a pillow as long as you had.

 

“And what are you going to make then?” he asked, sounding slightly smug as if he already knew what your next answer was going to be.  

 

“Well...I…”  You thought about it for a moment. You had some leftover takeout in the fridge, some cans of ravioli, but most of the actual food was in the freezer and you hadn’t been doing a lot of cooking for yourself recently.  “I’ve got stuff to make,” you answered lamely, knowing you didn’t want anything you had readily on hand and also knowing you were stubborn enough to eat it anyway.

 

“Uh huh.”   
  
“I do! Why are you laughing?!”  You looked at Simon, frustrated because he had indeed started to laugh.  The next thing you knew he had pulled you into his lap, turning you so he could put his chin on your shoulder and pull your back to his chest.  Your protests turned into mumbles and pouts and your heart skipped a beat.

 

“I didn’t have to take care of you before I was gone either, but I did because I wanted to.  Is it wrong to still want that?” he asked. You shook your head and mumbled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear that.”

 

“Yes you did, you jackass,” you retorted, your pout wavering hard against the smile you were fighting.  “I said you’re still a stubborn ass, but I’m glad you’re home, there, happy now?” You felt more than heard him chuckle behind you.  

 

“Yes,”  came his reply.

 

“Good, cause I’m going to the dishes then! No way am I letting you do everything!”  

 

“When have you ever?”

 

“Good point…”

 

After you’d taken your shower, you exited trying to tame your damp hair and saw Simon had thawed some of the ingredients from your freezer to make what had to be the best thing you’d seen food wise in weeks.  It was, you discovered, as good as it looked. After unabashedly praising him for the meal, true to your word as soon as you had finished eating, you raced to the kitchen to put the food away and do the dishes.  The fact you managed to send a cloud of soap bubbles into the air at your hastiness did not cease to amuse Simon from his seat in the living room.

 

There was one thing about having Simon home that you forgot to account for, and it was the fact that he was adamant about you getting proper sleep.  No more three a.m. nights only to go to work five hours later. Even with your protesting that you didn’t have to go to bed, the same way he didn’t have to do any chores, did nothing to budge Simon from his stance on the matter.  You only went to bed when you did, at around one, because he had caught you dozing on the couch and carried you to your room. The minute you hit the bed your sleep hazed eyes flew open and you squinted at Simon. He wouldn’t let you back up, and instead called you out on your lack of sleep lately - yes he’d figured that out - and said you still had work in the morning.  He left when you relented, closing your bedroom door behind him, hearing all of your grumpy mutterings.

 

He busied himself in the apartment for a short time, re familiarizing himself with it now that you’d moved everything and unleashed what looked like a veritable bomb of disregard.  Knowing you’d be frustrated with him, he straightened up anyway. It gave his hands something to do while he worked through the knotted ball of thoughts that were rolling around in his head.  Before he’d been taken from you, you never threw a fit about going to bed, and even when you had previously tried to get him to let you take on some of the burdens of house care you’d never been this vehement about it.  

 

It wasn’t until he returned to his room and settled on his bed, pulling up a list of upcoming meetings he and the other Jericho representatives had to go to that he noticed something.  His bed smelled like you. It made him freeze, taking a deep breath as if he wasn’t sure he was right. He turned his head to look at the door to his room, in the general direction of your own room, the movement pushing air from his pillow making your scent that much more prominent.

 

Your actions suddenly made more sense as the realization that you had slept in his room long enough to leave your mark on it hit him.  His brow furrowed and he looked back up at the ceiling. You were afraid he’d leave if he felt like you were having him do menial tasks as if he were just an android, and you were afraid if you left him, even to sleep in your room, then he would disappear.  You always were so stubborn, but he couldn’t blame you, not after everything that had happened. It made his heart ache to know how scared you were about losing him again. No wonder you’d freaked out about not knowing how to act earlier. Simon sighed, listening carefully to the quiet of the apartment.  It was only around three in the morning now, but it sounded like you were still awake in your room, the bed shifting everytime you rolled over. 

 

Carefully he got up and opened his door.  He barely left his room when your bedroom door slammed open and you looked around the living room with frantic, wet eyes and your hair an absolute mess.  The heaving of your chest slowed when your eyes settled on Simon and he watched as your heart rate also began to slow to a more reasonable pace. You’d had a nightmare, that much was obvious.  Before he could say or doing anything, relief washed over your face and the tension in your body seemed to recede. Then you sighed and turned back to go to bed again, closing the door behind you softly.  Simon stood in the doorframe to his room and stared after you. 

 

He figured if he had to take a guess at what had made you fly from your room in such a panic he already knew what it was.  He rubbed at his eyes for a second. He needed to go into sleep mode, to at least take a break from the swirl of thoughts and emotions he had no idea how to deal with at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on tumblr if you'd like! same username: [VividlyLost](https://vividlylost.tumblr.com) OR at my writing blog [Viv Writes](https://vividlywriting.tumblr.com) where I will answer asks about my writing and even take some prompts.
> 
> And if you like this story, I have a series of oneshots and fics I've been working on! [More Than My Programming](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1053845) And I've got a couple more things to go in there soon, so keep an eye out!
> 
>  
> 
> Last but not least, a long standing shout out to my friend and beta reader  
> [Em](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disillusionist9/pseuds/disillusionist9) !


	3. Things Left Unsaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all want some fluff???? Cause I got you some fluff!

The next day Simon found you awake before he’d left sleep mode, earlier than he was used to seeing you awake, and making lunch for yourself.  The coffee pot was already going, your creamer and mug sitting nearby in preparation. Hearing Simon open his door you turned to smile at him, the amount of joy and endearment in it made him think his thirium pump was acting up.  

 

“Good morning!” you said, packing up the food you had prepared and moving to get your coffee.

 

“Good morning,” Simon replied.  “You’re up early.”

 

“Yes...well...didn’t sleep very well so I didn’t see a point in just laying in bed.”  You shrugged, your back to Simon. You didn’t see him frown. You’d never had a problem just laying in bed.

 

Quietly he moved around the counter to join you in the kitchen.  You jumped when he reached around you to take the coffee mug from your hand and set it down. 

 

“Heeeey!  What are you doing?”  You turned to look up at Simon, frowning with narrowed eyes.  Rather than answer he put his hands on either side of your face and kissed your forehead.  Despite the red now on your face and how wide your eyes had gotten, you kept the frown as best you could.  “What was that for?” you mumbled.   
  
“You need to stop worrying that I’m going to just leave,” he said when he pulled back.  Your frown melted and your mouth pulled to the side as you looked away from him. “You never worried about that before, about annoying me or doing something wrong, so why are you worried now?”  You didn’t seem to want to answer, and Simon was about to give up until you spoke up, quiet and sad.

 

“Yes I was.”

 

“Was what?”

 

“Worried.  I was always worried about doing something wrong, making you regret being here, even before you deviated.  At first you never had a choice, and then when you did I just wanted to make sure you were happy. It was easier then, I think, I would never have kept you from leaving, but you were safer here so it wasn’t so hard to let myself believe you’d stay.  It was easier to hide my worry. It isn’t so easy now…” you trailed off and took a deep breath. Simon wondered if the pain he felt was what humans called a breaking heart. 

 

“Then there was Caleb, and I slipped, and I ended up needing you more, even when Caleb was gone I needed you, and you were always there.  I don’t...I don’t want to push you away by…”

 

“You won’t,” Simon promised.  “Look at me.” You did, and he saw the grief etched into your face, the reason there were such dark bags under your eyes.  You tried so hard to not need, to not give in to what you called selfishness, that you were hurting yourself. “You’re allowed to need people, to want them in your life.  You can’t predict the future, and if you keep trying to avoid doing anything because it could potentially upset someone else you’re going to live in fear your whole life.”  You blinked, eyes growing glassy. “You have to trust me when I tell you that I’m not just going to get up and walk away. And even if you did something wrong, we can just talk about it.  Things happen, you always told me that. You also always said mistakes were lessons, sometimes it takes a few to get it through your head.” Simon poked your forehead and you chuckled, rubbing the moisture from your eyes.  “We’ll be ok, ok?”

 

“Yea, ok,”  you agreed. 

 

“Good.  And you shouldn’t go to work today, you’ll drop like a sack of bricks before noon, you need to rest.”  Simon left no room for argument as he handed you your phone.

 

“I can’t just call out of work because I’m tired?!” you scoffed, putting your phone down and picking up your coffee mug instead.  You took a deliberately long sip, staring Simon dead in the eyes.

 

“You forgot to add creamer,” he pointed out, amused at the face of disgust you were making from drinking black coffee.  You turned your head stubbornly and added your creamer before picking up your stuff for work. Simon only shook his head at you, but you smiled at him before heading off to work.

  
  


You one hundred percent began to doze off before lunch, and when Simon asked you later that night how work went you told him it was fine, you handled it very well.  He knew you were lying, but he kept that to himself.

  
  


It took a few days for you to stop walking on eggshells around Simon, to fully relax.  It was a weird feeling for you, it nearly felt like how things were when he first deviated except now he could easily go out, and he had responsibilities to his people and his friends that gave him a new place in the world.  You were proud of him, which you told him often enough, but it took you those few days to figure out why you were having so much trouble adapting to having Simon home again. 

 

You figured it out one evening after he had returned from Haven, the androids’ new place of refuge and community.  He looked so human, he came and went as he wanted or needed, he acted just like everyone else, and in the short time he had been gone he had experienced so much that the way he held himself had even changed.  This was  _ your _ Simon, with his own worries and doubts, his own fears and faults, and his own passion and joy.  Accepting the changes, the newness of your old friend, soothed the tangled mess in your mind. So of course the first thing you thought was “he can’t deny being a housemate now!”  

 

Now that you’d worked that out, you had assumed all would be well and right with your world.  

 

Except you forgot to factor in that one, teensy, little, itty, bitty thing that you’d stuffed back as far as you could for as long as you could.  You loved Simon. You were  _ in love _ with Simon.  It was something that tried to rip its way to the surface every time he kissed you on the forehead when you left for work.  You don’t know why he did it, no more than you knew why you made him relax his face by pushing your thumb against the furrow of his brow.  What you did know was that without fail, when his lips touched your skin, your heart would jump, and you grinned like a fool. You wondered why he did it, you had more than a little evidence to suggest Simon might feel the same about you as you did for him, but you had no idea how to address it.  

 

So you just didn’t.

 

The first time you kissed Simon, it was on the forehead like he did for you.  You’d come home late, an event at work having kept you out later than you’d planned.  When you returned home the house was dark save for the light over the stove. You carefully put your bags down and removed your shoes and jacket, taking a moment to revel in the warmth of your apartment.  

 

A cursory glance around your apartment had you sighing with a smile.  Simon had organized the mess that was your coffee table, and the bar counter of your kitchen.  You looked towards his room and blinked when you saw his door open. Quietly you walked barefoot to his room and raised an eyebrow to see him already in sleep mode.  You guessed it was later than you'd thought. He didn't go into sleep mode every night, you didn't even know what prompted him to do so in the first place. You never actually got to see him in sleep mode though. He looked peaceful, almost like he was really sleeping.  You let your feet carry you into his room, stopping beside his bed.

 

There was an odd swirl of warmth washing through you, making your breath feel trapped inside your chest.  It hurt, the surge of emotion, of love that embedded itself into every atom of your being. You tucked your hair back and leaned down, brushing your lips against his forehead in a gentle kiss.  It wasn't nearly enough of an outlet for what you were feeling, it only seemed to make you feel giddier. As you pulled away, you mouthed the words that were eating you from the inside, your lips barely brushing against his skin as you formed them.

 

You closed his door and were in the shower before Simon even stirred, daring to let his shy smile grow on his face and placing his hand over his eyes.  He'd left sleep mode the second he'd registered the sound of you entering the apartment, but when you'd walked to his door he'd feigned being dormant. He didn't really have a reason for it, not one he could say anyway.  Perhaps he figured if he didn't move, you yourself would just go to sleep, instead of keeping yourself up even later than you needed to be. He hadn't expected this. 

 

His thirium pump was working much too fast, having hiccuped when he’d felt your lips, and then nearly stopping when he’d felt the words on them.  

 

It was hours before he moved from that position and you were well asleep.  Simon just couldn't return to sleep mode if he tried. 

 

The next morning he acted as if nothing was different, as much as for him everything felt like it was.

 

After a couple of weeks you and Simon settled into somewhat of a loose pattern of life together.  He was adamant about taking care of the food, and he didn’t have to say why either. After learning how little and how poorly you ate after he was gone the only way you could get Simon to stop fretting over you was if you let him handle the food.  He had always been a better cook than you, even when he’d tried to teach you in the past, so your diet improved tenfold. Simon had no sway over the junk food he’d suddenly find in the cupboard after you’d made a trip to the store. Not that he ever called you out on it, he wasn’t trying to police what you ate, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t just eating take out and fast food every night.  

Days when Simon was out helping Markus and the others, and you managed to beat him home, you made it your own personal race to do as much of the house work as you could before he returned, and to position yourself on the couch as if you hadn’t done anything.  Usually this meant Simon found you only slightly out of breath on the couch, and trying hard not to give away that you’d done anything. It took a lot of effort on his part to not tease you about it, he only hoped that you’d soon relax enough to not worry so much.  

 

Which was another thing that became a pattern.  While you quickly stopped throwing a fit about going to bed at any sort of reasonable hour, it didn’t stop the nightmares.  Three, sometimes four times a week Simon would hear you awaken in your room and listen as your feet padded across the apartment and came to a stop in front of his door.  Sometimes you just paused there before leaving again, once you opened his door as if to check that he was still there. The first time it happened while he was still up working as opposed to waking up at the sound of your approach he heard you pause, heard what sounded like the doorknob being grasped and then you left.  He couldn’t take it anymore, whether or not this was something you were willing to talk about, the thought that you wouldn’t even come to him sank a heavy stone of aching pain into his chest. He pushed himself from his desk, opening his door just as you had closed yours. 

 

He knocked on your door softly before pushing it open.  You were sitting on your bed, looking at something on your phone.  You looked up at Simon in surprise, and then guilt.

 

“Simon?” you asked.  The android walked over to the bed and when you scooted over he sat down beside you.

 

“What are you looking at?” he asked, gesturing to your phone.  You looked back down at it, you had been playing a game on your phone, something with cats.

 

“Not looking at much of anything, just not tired enough to go back to sleep,” you lied.  

 

“Can I try?”  You handed your phone to Simon and he began the level you had been playing over again.  After about five seconds playing his character died. “Wait...what?” He hit replay, lasting about ten seconds more than last time, yet still ultimately failing.  He handed your phone back to you with a small frown on his face.

 

“Sure you don’t want to try again?” you teased, shaking the phone a little.

 

“You play, I want to see how you managed to get the highscore on this thing.”

 

“Hehheh, alright,” you laughed, scooting closer to Simon and hit replay.  

 

_ Three Levels Later _

 

“How are you doing that?!  You don’t even seem to have a pattern, you just keep tapping the screen without any apparent plan and yet you’ve gotten much farther than I did,” Simon exclaimed, at a complete loss.  You were laughing though, not at Simon, but at the situation.

 

“Simon, when have I ever gone into anything with a plan?”  Simon opened his mouth, but you kept talking. “Besides, not everything needs to make sense, can’t you enjoy not being good at something right away?”

 

“Okay, first off, I am far from perfect,” he said with a huff, ignoring your look of ‘uh huh’, “and second, you’re right, but didn’t you have a plan when you came to find me at Haven?”  Your smile grew wider, and a little strained.

 

“Now wouldn’t that have been something?  My only plan was to get there and find you, I had no idea what I was going to do if they turned me away… probably would have tried to find another way inside to look for you.  Imagine, that news headline,” you lifted your hand and framed the imaginary headline in the air. “ **Human Attempts to Break into Haven.  You Won’t Believe the Reason Why!”** You dropped your hand and the announcer voice.  “Ok, so maybe it would only end up online in a clickbait article.”  Simon laughed and shook his head.

 

“You really had no plan huh?”

 

“Last time I made plans that didn’t involve work or errands, things went to shit, so no.  I didn’t make a plan, because I didn’t want to feel the pain of it failing,” you admitted.  You glanced at Simon and then looked back at your phone to play the next level of the game. He didn’t have a response to that, finding he wasn’t ready to broach what that really meant.

 

“Are you  _ plan _ ning to go to sleep?” he asked instead.

 

“Eventually.”

 

The two of you fell silent, an odd tension in the air.  Something unsaid that needled at the both of you. You finished the level and handed the game back to Simon.  Without a word he started the level and played it, again and again until he was able to pass it. By the time he finished the level after that you had begun to doze off beside him, slipping down further on the bed until you were nestled into your pillow and blanket.  Carefully, Simon set your phone down on the side table and left your room, closing the door quietly behind him. At least you had gone back to sleep, and still he cursed himself. What had he actually hoped to accomplish by going in there? Whatever it was, he knew he’d done absolutely nothing towards it.

  
  


You stirred, expecting to hear the sound of the game’s music, to feel the warmth of your friend beside you, and there was nothing.  The bed was cold, and it was silent. Panic welled in your chest, the nightmare you’d tried to dispel from earlier rising to the surface of your memories and gripping you in your sleep hazed state.  He was gone. Simon was gone, again. You could barely rouse yourself enough to efficiently convince yourself that there was any sign he had been there at all. 

 

You reached for your phone blindly, but it wasn’t where you’d left it.  Your heart rate began to slow. When you found your phone you picked it up to check the time, it had only been twenty minutes since Simon would have been in the room with you.  When you opened your phone you found the game still up, a game over screen greeting you. You rubbed your eyes, and looked towards your bedroom door. 

 

So tired, you were so tired.  Since Simon had come home, you’d had one nightmare after another of losing him.  Something happening to take him from you, someone removing Simon from your life, Simon getting fed up with you and walking away, Simon having truly died that night, Simon refusing to come home, refusing to have anything to do with you.  All ways that you could fail him, had failed him, would fail him. All ways you could lose Simon.

 

You gripped your phone tighter and swung your legs over the side of your bed and padded your way to your door.  If you could just tell him what was wrong, maybe he could help you? You thought about each time he held you on the couch, or kissed your forehead.  Would it be so bad if you just took a chance?

 

You opened your door and walked over to Simon’s room, he hadn’t closed his door.  

 

You stood outside of his room, hand raised to knock on the door jam to get his attention.

 

You loved him, you knew this, but was this pushing it?  If he didn’t actually feel like you did, if you had been reading into everything?  If you didn’t say anything would he still offer you comfort when you sought it? Like now?  Would it be wrong if you got more from it than he did-

 

“____?”  Simon asked, looking up at you, at the fear and conflict in your face.

 

“I….”  You lowered your hand and began picking at the hem of your shorts.  “I woke up, and you were gone, and … the … it uh… I panicked…” you finally told him, breaking your stare from the floor and looking at Simon.  

 

“Oh…”  Simon stood up and walked towards you.

 

“I’m sorry….but….”

 

“Would you like to sleep in here...with me?” Simon asked before you could stop yourself from asking the same.  

 

“I don’t want to be a bother, I know you’re doing stuff to help Markus and the others.”  Looked like you were still trying to offer him an out. He didn’t take it though. He did, on the other hand, lift a hand to your cheek and rub his thumb along your cheekbone soothingly.  A soft smile reaching his eyes. 

 

“You aren’t, and this isn’t anything that can’t wait until tomorrow.  Let me go change and then I’ll join you in bed,” he said. Conflict crossed his eyes, as if there was something more he wanted to say or do, but he settled for kissing you on the forehead.  His lips lingered longer than usual, stopping your breathing entirely. Then he was gone, having collected the night clothing you’d gotten him in the habit of wearing, because after all, as you had told him time and again, “it’s odd to always wear your day clothes to bed and never change”.  

 

You stood there, frozen to the spot, staring at his bed.  You’d slept there plenty when you were grieving his loss, now it felt odd to just climb in.  When Simon left the bathroom you were still standing there, pulling the case off of your phone and snapping it back into place, a nervous habit you had that you didn’t always realize you were doing.  

 

“Come on,” he said softly, tossing his clothes into the hamper by his closet.  He guided you to his bed, his hand warm on your back and then he sat down offering the same hand to you.  You took his hand, feeling as shy and uncertain as a young teen with their first crush, finding it hard to look away from his face.  You searched endlessly for any sign that he was unhappy or even annoyed with you, but there was none. 

 

Simon scooted back on the bed giving you room to join him and then he pulled you along until you were fully on the mattress.  

 

“Do you plan to sleep holding onto your phone?” he teased and grinned when your face flushed in embarrassment.  You stuck your tongue out at him and put your phone on the side table. When you turned back Simon had already laid down and was watching you with a warm expression.  You immediately put your hand to your mouth, eyes bugging slightly. 

 

_ He’s cute. _

 

_ Holy fuck he’s so cute. _

 

_ I don’t know whether to thank Cyberlife or curse them. _

 

_ This has to be illegal - _

 

Simon propped himself up on his elbow and took your hand from your mouth with a raised eyebrow.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.  You just shook your head, face burning more.  Exhausted as you were, you didn’t trust yourself to not say anything incriminating.  Instead you took your hand back and slid into place beside him on the bed, lips pressed into a thin line to keep yourself from laughing.  

 

Simon eyed you curiously, your red face, tangled mess of hair, adorable expression like you had just been caught doing something.

 

**_Ra9 save me-_ **

 

You were cute.

 

Then there were lips on your temple and strong arms pulling you close.  You squeaked, a noise you didn’t normally make, your heart going a mile a minute, sleep quickly becoming an unnecessary factor with the adrenaline that was surging through you.  

 

“Simon, what-?” you asked, trying to turn to look at him.  He held you fast, turning you into the little spoon and pressing a kiss to the back of your neck stopping your words and squirming in an instant.

 

“No one needs to be that cute,” he murmured against your skin, feeling it heat up as your blush returned full force.

 

“Wha- are you reading my mind or something?” you said, using humor to fall back on and failing to realize what you had just said.

 

“Reading your...no I….-”

 

“I’m Going To Sleep!” you said quickly, words coming out stunted, before he could call you on your shit.  Simon dismissed the temperature warning flashing on his interface, and cuddled you closer. 

 

“Good,” he simply said.  Though there was much more he wanted to say, for starters, possibly an apology for being so forward with you, but you snuggling against him and grabbing his hand to hold close to your chest kept him from doing so.  You said goodnight and he whispered it in return. 

 

Sleep claimed you faster than you expected given the circumstances, but it was the calmest and most peaceful sleep you’d had in months.  Simon entered standby mode shortly after you fell asleep. He knew if he didn’t, the rapid pulse of his thirium pump would likely cause problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my beta reader [Em](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disillusionist9/pseuds/disillusionist9)!
> 
>  
> 
> Check out my other DBH oneshots and side fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1053845).
> 
> And check out my Main DBH fic, [Numb](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019199/chapters/34816505).


	4. The Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had this all written out for a while, but a lot of stuff has been going on and I just couldn't find the energy to go back through what I had written to edit it. The itis seems to have gone around, so just be aware that these last chapters haven't been Beta read.
> 
> Still, thank you guys for hanging on so long!

The next morning you woke up alone and to the smell of bacon.  A glance at your phone told you that you still had about an hour before your alarm went off for work.  So you pulled the pillow over your head to hide your face. You remembered very vividly what had transpired the night before, his lips on your neck, his arms holding you fast, you admitting he was cute... _ him admitting you were cute- _

 

_ Oh god. _

 

_ What does this even mean?? _

 

“Good morning ____, did you sleep well?” Simon asked, lifting the corner of the pillow to peak underneath it at you.  You nodded, trying to hide your face again, to no avail. “Breakfast is ready, you’ll need to eat to have energy for the day, you didn’t get much rest last night.”

 

_ That’s it?  _

 

_ Nothing else about last night?? _

 

“But it’s early!” you whined, pouting.

 

“Earlier than normal for you, yes, but,” he grinned teasingly, “you do look rather a mess right now, and you are kinda slow about getting ready for work.”  He combed his fingers through your mess of hair to add to his point and your mouth fell open. 

 

_ He didn’t. _

 

“I thought you said I was cute?” you fired back.  Simon cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.  “No?” you prodded, propping yourself up on the bed to look at him better.  His only response was to smooth down your hair and plant a kiss on top of it.  

 

“Doesn’t mean you don’t still look like you've been sleeping for three weeks,” he said, heading back out to the kitchen.  You stared after him and chewed on your lip only to grimace. Your mouth tasted disgusting. As flustered as you felt, he did have a point, you needed to get ready.

  
  


The rest of your day was spent in a sort of stupor trying to figure out how to bring up exactly what was on your mind to Simon.  It felt childish to just walk up to him and ask if the two of you were a thing or could be a thing. So when you did go home, you didn’t say anything.  You had to admit, you did kind of like the way things were progressing on their own, surprises that left you flustered and nervous and excited all at the same time.  With that in mind, you weren’t sure what was allowed and what wasn’t, you figured you’d just go with it.

 

That night you slept in your own room, neither of you broaching a repeat of the night before, and both of you sitting on your respective beds after your doors had closed wondering if you shouldn’t have just said something.  You slept relatively well, but when you emerged from the bathroom the next morning to find Simon packing a lunch for you you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind in a hug, laying your tired head against his back.  He chuckled, squeezing your hand briefly and bid you good morning. You only groaned, which turned into a yawn. 

 

You’d missed him last night, more than you thought you would have.  After all you’d only shared his bed because you couldn’t sleep from your nightmares, it was a little selfish to want that from then forward.  Right? When Simon teased you about falling asleep hugging him like that you, you quickly gathered your things for work and made an embarrassed get away.  Not before he pulled you back to kiss your forehead and wish you a good day. You returned his farewell with a flustered smile.

 

When you got home from work that day Simon wasn’t home.  You got a text saying he was going to be late. You breathed a sigh of relief at that and flopped onto the couch, a few hours to yourself where you could laze on the couch and not worry about the ever churning cloud of butterflies inside of you would be nice.

 

You flipped on your tv and pulled up the reruns of a show you liked in preparation for the next season. Simon arrived home to find you eating your way through a bowl of popcorn, chocolate mixed in with the popcorn was sticking to your fingers, not that you minded as you were enraptured with the show on the television.  

 

“How many time have you watched this?” Simon asked, walking to lean on the back of the couch.  You licked your fingers of the chocolate and looked up at him, forefinger still in your mouth. You removed it with a pop, now clean and started counting on your hand.

 

“Fourrrrr...and a half times?” you said.  “Yea, four and half. Ok the first season I’ve seen that much, I haven't seen this one but the once.  Next season starts in a couple months,” you explained nonchalantly.

 

“It’s one in the morning,” Simon stated.  You looked at the clock on the wall. 

 

“So it would seem.”

 

“So it  _ is _ .”

 

“Time is an illusion, constructed by mortals to give life meaning,” you fired back, sticking your hand back in the bowl of popcorn and finding only kernels and mushy chocolate.  Simon rolled his eyes. You liked to get cryptic and clever when you were watching this show, you thought it was funny, and while he hadn’t been able to fully appreciate it before his deviation now he could only give you a look of barely maintained exasperation.  You waggled your eyebrows at him, poorly, until his facade cracked and he laughed. He took the bowl from your hands, ignoring your outcry about there still being chocolate in there. You clambered off of the couch after him, but he was faster than you and had already emptied the bowl into the trash and was rinsing it off before you reached him.  Defeated you stuck your hands in the middle of the faucet stream and washed your hands, delaying him from putting the bowl in the dishwasher. 

 

At the good natured huff that ruffled your hair your looked up at him cheekily.  There was a small grin in the corners of his mouth and in his eyes and you felt a warm, almost light headed feeling of falling, like when an elevator drops, inside your chest and stomach.

 

Simon, for his part, was glad for the reprieve that coming home to you offered.  No matter how stressful things got at Haven, or with the government, a heady sense of relief always rushed through him when he stepped inside your home,  _ his  _ home, reminding him that no matter how bad things got he was still here, alive, free, and you were here with him.  Your cheeky grin right now only further cemented the happiness he had once thought would be gone forever and now was a gift he had every day.  His joy did not stop him from noticing the chocolate still at the corner of your mouth. Nor did it stop the sudden curiosity as to how chocolate tasted.  As a homecare model android he had access to taste sensors for use while cooking, especially useful after profiling an owners taste preferences, but he had never had to use them. Except the one time you made him taste something you made and tell you how it was.  While he couldn't eat, it was quite simple to intake and convert small amounts of solids or liquid like that, as a homecare model with human needs in mind that was a function he also hadn't had to use but that one time. Sadly he couldn't properly give you a response that time, predeviancy he couldn't care less on one taste versus another, but now?  Now he was very curious.

 

His intense stare made you raise your eyebrows and flick water at him from your hands and call him a weirdo, startling him back to the present.  

 

“What, do I have something on my face?” you asked sarcastically, drying your hands on your pants.  That made a grin grow on Simon's face fully, and he turned off the faucet.

 

“Yes actually.”  Before you could ask where, his thumb was at the corner of your mouth. For a brief moment it rested hesitantly there, and then he wiped away the chocolate from your mouth.  You swallowed, wide eyed, and then nearly choked when he popped his thumb into his mouth to lick it clean. “Y'know, I think I quite like chocolate. If I could eat, it would be rather enjoyable,” he teased once he'd pulled his hand from his mouth, despite the rapid pulse of his thirium pump.

 

_ What just happened? _

 

Broken syllables slipped out of your mouth in lieu of a coherent response to what he'd done.  Simon raised his eyebrow at you, looking for all the world as innocent as a babe.

 

“I - aaaugh - what - I - aaaagh-" you flicked water at him again and stalked back to the couch beet red.  You muttered and planted yourself back on the couch. “-stupid smug bastard-" Simon heard you and he grinned wider, casting a fond look at you from where he stood putting the bowl in the dishwasher.  “-what was that-” Simon closed the dishwasher, wondering if you forgot his enhanced hearing made it possible for him to hear your flustered mutterings. “-kiss that stupid smug smile off his face-” Simon glanced at the heat warning that flickered into the corner of his interface and back at you, where you had buried your face in a pillow in your arms.  It seems you  _ had _ forgotten.

 

When he walked back out to join you on the couch your cheeks were only slightly tinted and you’d reinvested your attention to your show.  He thought you were ignoring him until you tipped yourself sideways to fall against his shoulder. You didn’t say anything. You didn’t know what to say.  Didn’t know what you wanted to do about what just happened.

 

Ok, that wasn’t true.  You knew exactly what you wanted to do.  You wanted to get him back. Somehow.

 

The following hour and a half you managed to stay awake to watch your show nothing else transpired between you and Simon.  Not that you didn’t want anything to happen, but you just couldn’t gather the courage to do anything, and as your exhaustion grew, just spending time with him like this was enough for you.

 

You woke briefly, having dozed off on the couch, head falling to Simon’s shoulder, when he carried you to your room.  Muttered refusals to sleep only had your friend chuckling softly as he tucked you into your bed. Not being fully awake, you weren’t exactly sure what was going on, or if you were even making an effort to get up like you told him you were going to.  

 

“It certainly doesn’t look like you’re getting up,” Simon remarked, watching you burrow further under the covers.  You hummed sleepily, brushing off his statement.

 

“See you in the morning?” you asked him, cracking your eyes open blearily to see him pause by the door.  Simon turned around and walked back to your side. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and whispered, “promise”.  You smiled, placated, and drifted off to sleep.

 

Simon left your room quietly, contentment settling around him like a warm blanket.  Memories of times before the revolution when he’d carried you to your room after you’d fallen asleep on the couch or at your desk flickered by on his interface.  Even the few times when he knew you were faking being asleep, albeit rather well, towards his forced removal from your life, he hadn’t minded. Simon actually rather enjoyed it more those times, deviancy and his growing feelings for you only sparking the protective instincts he hadn’t known he’d had.  Taking care of you, making sure you were happy, he didn’t need a written code from CyberLife to do that, after all, you had always taken care of him. 

 

_ “I know you’re faking,” Simon said, voice low and teasing.  You only grinned, keeping your eyes closed. “You’re smiling,” he continued, nudging your bedroom door open with his foot.  Your smile grew bigger. He rolled his eyes, grinning himself, and set you down on your bed. He had considered dropping you on the mattress, all in good fun, but maybe next time.  It was as he was leaving that you spoke up. _

 

_ “I like it when you pick me up,” you admitted, watching him with half your face hidden under your blanket.  “I feel safe, and special, almost like when I was a kid except not…” You sighed, and he tilted his head inquisitively.  “I’m not exactly small anymore, didn’t think anyone could actually pick me up, y’know?” Simon could just make out your shrug under your blanket and the embarrassed smile on your face.  “So maybe I’m a little selfish-” That was where he stopped you. _

 

_ By walking over and flicking you on the forehead. _

 

_ “If I was upset, I wouldn’t have done it knowing you were faking,” he said calmly.  You just looked at him, rubbing your forehead with a small frown. He was right, and he knew you knew that.  “So how about, I just pretend I didn’t catch you tonight?” he offered and you laughed, nodding your assent. _

 

Simon shook his head, dispersing the memory.  He was glad his memories with you didn’t stop the week after that when Caleb had returned.  He was also glad that you hadn’t let them stop there either, seeking him out when he’d been fool enough to convince himself that you were better without him, that you wouldn’t want him to come home after everything.

  
  
  


Simon woke with a start, leaving standby mode instantly at the sound of his door opening.  His eyes picked out your silhouette in the darkness easily. He scanned you quickly, noting your decelerating heart rate and the sheet you held in your hand as if you’d awoken with a start and immediately fled to his room.  Without a word he scooted to the side of the bed making room for you, and in equal silence you crawled into bed with him, letting him pull your sheet out of your hand and over top of the both of you, followed by the blanket; it was cold enough for both.  You curled into his chest, breathing in the scent you associated with Simon, his body wash, spices from the kitchen, something you couldn’t identify that you’d decided was just the result of being at Haven, and you. Simon didn’t have a scent of his own naturally, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have one period.  The fact that he was around you, in some way shape or form, enough to have your scent on him made you oddly happy as you began to drift back off to sleep with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. 

 

“What scared you?” Simon asked softly, just as you were on the cusp of sleep.  You responded instinctually, giving him the truth that you would normally have skirted to spare him the knowledge of the content of your nightmares.

 

“Lost you again,” you murmured, barely aware of what you were saying.  His heart dropped.

 

“Lost me?” he prompted, knowing you were barely conscious, and yet needing to know.  Your fingers clutched at his shirt and even in your sleep hazed state your heart sped slightly.

 

“Again.  Again and again…” you trailed off, sinking deeper into sleep.

 

“____?”

 

“-member the scissors,” you murmured.  Simon blinked.

 

“What about scissors?” he asked.

 

“What  _ about _ scissors?” you asked in response, waking a little more.

 

“You said remember the scissors,” Simon chuckled softly, confused.

 

“No I didn’t,” you said, even more awake than before.

 

“Yes, you did.”

 

“Was I asleep?” you asked him, pulling back to squint at him.  “Were you talking to me in my sleep?”

 

“Perhaps,” he admitted.

 

“I refuse to be held to anything I said in my sleep,” you grumbled, closing your eyes again and settling your head back down.  Simon just sighed, laughing again, and hugged you tight for a second.

 

“So, you didn’t have a nightmare about losing me?” he asked, hoping you hadn’t fallen back to sleep just yet.  You remained silent. Perhaps you had fallen back asleep.

 

“I did,” you affirmed quietly.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Why are you sorry?!” Simon twitched, hands flexing to hold you closer, though he refrained from doing so.

 

“Nothing, not right now,” you said with a sigh.  Simon relaxed a little, you were right, now wasn’t the best time to talk about this, but if this was what woke you up most nights he didn’t want to leave it alone for long.  

 

Silence stretched between the two of you and Simon went back to rubbing your back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

 

He’d promised you’d see him in the morning, that was the last thing you heard him say before you fell asleep.  It wasn’t like the word itself was a trigger, but already asleep it had tugged at your subconscious, reminding you of when he had promised you wouldn’t lose him, and how you had failed him, shattering his promise.  So you’d woken, but he wasn’t there, not in the apartment, nor his room, and his room-

 

His room was empty.  Then there was no room, you weren’t even at home anymore.  Your mind told you you were in a park, but you weren’t even sure what you were seeing.  All you felt was loss, you knew for certain Simon was gone. 

 

You walked, and you’d found someone.  While unable to make out who they were, their features not concrete enough, your mind told you it was Simon. 

 

But Simon was gone.  Right? 

 

You’d told him he promised you’d see him in the morning, but why would he promise something if he wasn’t going to be there.

 

_ “Why would I promise something when you made me break my promise the first time?” _

 

You’d gotten mad.  It wasn’t your fault!  How could he say it was your fault?  

 

It was your fault.

 

Then you were back at the beginning of the park, you walked, knowing where Simon would be.  Knowing what not to say that time.

 

He wasn’t there.

 

He had never been there in the first place.

 

And it was  _ your _ fault.

 

Who were you kidding?

 

You’d failed him.

  
  
  


Now, there in Simon’s arms you groaned and his hand stilled.

 

“You promised I’d see you in the morning, but I lost you again, it was my fault,” you said quietly, voice tight.  “I’m sorry, I know it’s just a dream.” You felt Simon tense.

 

“It’s not your fault, you always told me dreams were illogical,” Simon responded carefully.  You just shook your head. 

 

“Always different, always the same.  I’m sorry I’m like this….’s selfish, so afraid of losing you….’fraid of failing you…”

 

“You haven’t failed me, how could you possibly fail me?”  Simon wanted to know, he really didn’t understand. You just shrugged.

 

“I’m selfish, I don’t want you to leave.”  Your voice cracked. Simon stopped breathing.  That time you had said you didn’t want him to leave.  No matter how many nightmares you had, or how they ended, you always felt it was your fault.  

 

“You’re allowed to be selfish,” he said finally, taking a deep breath and tightening his arms around you.  “Besides, I would never just leave you without a word, not that I have any intention of leaving in the first place.”  Simon felt you nod and heard your whispered, “ok", and repressed a sigh. He wasn't upset with you, he just didn't know how to help you.  

 

“If you have another one, will you come to me so I can help?” he asked after a few seconds.  

 

“You wouldn't mind?”

 

“It would make me happy if I could help you get better sleep,” Simon admitted.  When you didn't respond he wondered if you'd already fallen back asleep.

 

“Thank you,” you whispered, before actually falling asleep.  Simon didn't wake you this time, he was glad you'd agreed, and he had a lot on his mind.


	5. Bad Timing

After that night, your nightmares didn't magically go away, but knowing Simon was there for you, that he knew about them, made it easier.  Having somewhere to go when the darkness of your room pressed in on you after a nightmare made going to bed less of a chore than it had been.  The more you spent sleeping beside Simon the more normal it became. Days crept into weeks and the two of you easily accepted the changes between you as part of your dynamic.  The nights together, the odd, hilarious, and sometimes awkward flirting. So it begged the question what did that make you? 

 

Your first answer?  It made you happy. And while you didn’t spend every night sleeping beside Simon, and even though the butterflies never truly calmed down the more you did so, the act took on a feeling of normalcy that you hadn’t expected.  Even him teasing you about your bed head when you didn’t want to get up left you warm despite your crankiness in the mornings.

 

It was no surprise that you let yourself get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that things were only going to get better, despite the hardships Simon faced with his people and you faced with him.  He still wouldn’t go with you out on errands, concerned for your safety if you were to be seen with an android. So many androids and people were still being attacked by the hate groups and angry people left over from the revolution that he didn’t want you to be one of them.  Even though you had taken measures shortly after the first reports of assault had hit the news and carried a weighted, extendable baton in your bag at all times, he still worried. Unfortunately this was something he wouldn’t budge on either. No matter how much you worried for him when he went out on his own, he stubbornly remained firm on the fact that there was more danger when the two of you were together.  

 

You hated it, but there was nothing you could do.  As long as he was safe, you could live with the caution.  It wouldn’t be forever after all.

  
  
  
  


**“Protests outside of the Android District** **_Haven_ ** **have resulted in a riot when one protester threw a homemade explosive into a crowd of androids attempting to enter the main building.  It appears as if some of the leaders from Haven were aiding new arrivals by guiding them safely past the protesters. Many of the humans jumped at the distraction the explosion caused, anti-protesters turned on the protesters and the protesters on the androids.  There are no reports as of yet to how many have been injured and no reports on any possible cas-”**   
  
You stared in disbelief at the television screen, frozen as if time itself had stopped.  Then you were out the door, your phone to your ear, not even bothering to lock the door behind you.  The phone rang and rang and rang and stopped ringing. Did Simon hang up on you? Or was he just unable to answer your call?

 

You looked around for an automated taxi and flagged one down quickly.  As soon as you slipped into the vehicle and input the location for Haven you were greeted by a loud voice that you assumed was supposed to be soothing, but only grated on your nerves.

 

“ **Apologies, that destination has been cordoned off by the authorities and is inaccessible at this time.  Is there anywhere else you would like to go?”**

 

You slammed your hand on the dash in frustration.  You could have the taxi take you as close as it would let you and then run the rest of the way, but that might take just as long as going yourself, and at least going yourself you could slip through places the vehicle couldn’t.

 

“No.  Thanks,” you said curtly, exiting the taxi.  You ran back to your apartment and unlocked the small storage area just outside the front door where you stored your bike.  It was dusty and the tires were a little flat from disuse, and you had to dust off a few spiderwebs, but within minutes you were on the bike, helmet on and pedaling as fast as you could.  You weaved between buildings, opting for sidewalks and back roads that weren’t as widely used by foot traffic.

 

A red light stopped you a mile from Haven and you jostled your leg in impatience.  You tried calling Simon again to no avail and shoved your phone back into your pocket the second the light turned green.

 

You were freezing, your fingers, nose, ears, face, arms, you were growing numb all over.  Just because the snow was gone did not mean it was the kind of weather to run out of your apartment without attire built for the lingering cold and frost.  The sooner you could get there the sooner you could worry about warming up again, but right now? There was no time. You pedalled faster, working your muscles to keep you warm, the adrenaline coursing through you the only thing keeping you going when you knew you could very well pass out from the exertion otherwise.

 

The reflection of the police car lights and the roar of the people met you before you actually saw the sources for both.  Then you tires squealed, skidding when you hit the brakes short and turned hard to avoid the woman that had run out in front of you.  Your voice broke with the shriek of “LOOK OUT” and your bike turned to its side out from under you. Your knee hit the ground first along with the bike, then your shoulder, then your helmet bounced off of the pavement.  You were seeing stars, you tasted blood, and you were too cold to properly feel any pain.

 

“Are you ok?” someone asked you.  You tried to push yourself up, shaking your head and found you were trapped under your bike.  “Oh! Wait! I’m so sorry, hold on!” The bike was lifted off of you and then a hand reach down into your field of vision.  You took the hand, unclipping your helmet with fumbling, frozen fingers.

 

“Thank you,” you coughed out, the rapid pulse of your heart making you light headed.  The woman who was helping you looked you over cautiously as you got your bearings, checking you for obvious injuries.  When she turned her head you spotted a yellow LED at her temple. “You’re an android!” you said sharply, grabbing her hand before she could pull it away.

 

“Yes….” she answered slowly, “and you’re a human…”  She tugged her hand back from yours and took a step back, on edge.  Quickly you reached for her again, pleading filling your eyes.

 

“No please, you have to help me, my friend hasn't answered my calls since the attack and I need to know if he’s ok.  He’s an android, and I -” you words began to run together with how fast you were talking so you took a deep breath. “Please, I can’t lose him again.”  The android studied your face, noting your lack of winter clothing, the pale, almost blue frozen look to your extremities, the mess of your hair, the blood running down your lip, knee, and shoulder from the road rash.  You looked frantic, and lost, and completely determined. Whether or not this android was going to help you was not going to stop you. She nodded, her expression relaxing. 

 

“Alright, come with me, we might be able to get in around the back.”  The android stooped down and picked up your bike, grabbing the front handles and began guiding it in the direction she had been going previously.  Your bike was not going to be useable until it went to a shop, the back tire was bent just enough to make it wobble as it was being pushed. You wasted no time in following your guide, helmet in hand.

 

Then your exertion caught up to you, as did the pain, with the fading of your adrenaline.

 

You saw white specks, felt a cold sweat run up your back and neck.  Breathing deep you attempted to follow the android, but you only made it a couple of steps before you fell to your knees, your bleeding knee sending pain up your leg, and threw up.  

 

“Holy shit!  Are you ok? Should you even be walking?!”  The android had run back to you, setting your bike down to kneel beside you.  You waved her off, though her hand on your back felt soothing as you tried to get your body to behave.

 

“I haven't ridden that thing...in years,” you said slowly as your vision began to clear.  You spit, trying to clear the taste of vomit from your mouth and wiped your mouth with the sleeve of your shirt. “I live miles from here…” you took a deep breath and pushed yourself up to a standing position, using the android’s arm as a support when she offered it.  “I pushed myself too hard is all, I’ll be ok in a little while.”

 

“But you’re bleeding worse now!” she pointed out and you looked down at your knee.  You wiped at your mouth again.

 

“I can’t stop here, it’s too cold.”  As if on cue your hands started to shake.  Curling your fingers into a fist told you that you couldn’t really feel them very well anymore, the fact that they were a little scraped now made that fact more worrisome. 

 

“Ok, good point, this way then,” she said and picked up your bike again.  You followed her, a little steadier now that your body was normalizing, but shaking harder every minute you remained in the cold with minimal movement. 

 

She lead you a few buildings away from Haven, going slow to accommodate for your limping, and then down some stairs near the water side.  From there the two of you walked just under the sight of the people surrounding the outside of Haven. Railings separated anyone from trying to get down to where you were, and with the danger of ice no one was fool enough to try to jump the barricade and climb over the railing.  

 

You learned the android’s name was Gina when you tried to get her attention to tell her to just leave your bike there on the lower level.  You also learned she had been on her way back to Haven when the attack happened, so she didn’t know who had been hurt, or worse, but she had been lucky that her friends answered her calls and reassured her they were ok.  The idea of “worse”, though, left you both solemn. Gina lead you to just behind the main building, stating that any injured would be inside there, to which you nodded, teeth chattering too hard to bother trying to speak.  

 

“Inside, quickly,” she said, opening a door on the lower level and ushering you inside.  The door had been frozen shut, but a hard jerk with her enhanced strength cracked the ice easily.  After you’d entered the room she closed the door. It wasn’t much warmer inside than outside, but it wasn’t windy which made a huge difference.  “Ok, careful with the stairs,” she took your hand in hers, hers feeling burning hot to your frozen one, and guided you up the dim stairs. By the time you reached the top your hand was hurting from the slight thaw her hand had started, but you only clenched your jaw.

 

“Stay with me, I’ll make sure you find your friend,” she said with an encouraging smile and squeezed your hand.  You nodded, smiling back at her as best as your worry would let you, squeezing her hand in return. Then she opened the door and led you further into Haven’s main building.  It was significantly warmer up here and you could feel it, wincing in pain as your body began to warm back up. Gina gave you a sympathetic look as your discomfort grew. She didn’t say anything until the two of you had navigated your way out of the basement and back of the building and stood at the outskirt of the mass of androids and few humans milling around on the main floor, stuck inside the building until the police cleared the mess outside.

 

“Where would your friend have been?  What was their name? I can see if anyone’s seen them,” she asked when you balked at the sight before you.  You blinked, eyes searching and falling on every PL-600 model you saw, and jumping to the next one as soon as you knew it wasn’t Simon.  

 

“Simon, his name is Simon,” was all you could tell her, staring at yet another PL-600 model android and then looking away.  Gina followed your eyes and then her own widened.

 

“Wait…. _ Simon _ Simon?” she asked in surprise.

 

“Probably,” you responded.

 

“Oh.”

  
  


For the next fifteen minutes Gina took you around the main floor, helping you search for Simon.  If you knew how to get ahold of Markus or even North maybe they could help you. No, they were most likely running damage control if they weren’t injured themselves, if they even felt like talking to you in the first place.

 

_ Fuck! _

 

You were beginning to panic again.  Gina caught your rising heart beat and the frantic look growing on your face and was quick to soothe you.

 

“Hey, ____, the call went through remember, you told me so, so he’s not gone,” she reassured.  That was right. He wasn’t gone. “See, so we will find him!” You looked into her eyes, fierce and certain and felt a smile on your lips.

 

“Thank you,” you said.

 

“Of course, but I have to say, at this point I’m worried if we don’t treat your injuries you won’t be in any shape to see him if we do find him.”  She looked pointedly at your knee and shoulder, the skin having been unable to clot properly with the constant shifting and stretching was still weeping blood, albeit slower than before.

 

“Ok,” you said.

 

Gina tracked someone down that knew where to find supplies to help you and they looked at her in shock.

 

“Why didn’t you take them to where the other injured were?” the android asked her accusingly.

 

“Because no one knew where that was!” she shot back.  Not for lack of trying, but there was so much going on that anyone she had spoken to had been next to useless information wise.  The android shook their head and then with a quick interface told Gina exactly where to go. 

 

“Come on,” she said when she’d pulled her arm back from the other android.  “Thank you.”   
  
“Thank you,” you chimed in, and the android nodded, walking further into the crowd, supposedly to help spread the word of the temporary med bay incase anyone else should need it.

 

Gina threaded her way through the crowd with you in tow until the two of you were stopped by a couple of people guarding the med bay.  They took one look at you and one of them lead the two of you inside. There were a couple of humans inside being patched up, but the sheer number of androids injured made your stomach plummet.

 

You’d always liked the color blue, but right now it made you sick to your stomach.  Blue blood was everywhere as the technicians, both human and android worked to help the injured.  Many androids were unconscious, or appeared to be so, but there was just enough flurry of activity that you had a hard time really picking anyone out.  You stepped away from Gina into the chaos and searched every face you saw. You heard her call after you, then heard her quick footfalls as she rushed to keep up, you had no intention of stopping.  Not until you knew for sure if Simon was here, if he was ok.

 

You noticed that Markus was nowhere in sight.  He was likely dealing with the police and the rest of his people.  The others were probably with him. No...wait…. You squinted at the android helping one of the technicians calm another android, recognizing him as Josh.  It was Josh wasn’t it? 

 

“Josh!  Come over here I need your help!”  So it was Josh, but you were no longer looking at Josh, you were looking at the android who had called for him.  You were staring at Simon. Thirium coated his hands, splatters of it were on his clothes and cheek, and there was a gash in his arm that exposed his porcelain colored body and wiring you had never seen before.  Josh blocked your line of sight to Simon as he ran over to join him. 

 

Alive.  Simon was alive.  Injured, but alive.  The feeling of relief that crashed over you had you swaying on your feet, or maybe it was the exhaustion, dehydration, and blood loss.

 

“Whoa now,” Gina grabbed you by the shoulders to keep you steady.  “We found him, so let’s get you taken care of, yeah?” She guided you to a nearby bench and then left to find what she needed to help treat your injuries.  You followed Simon with your eyes for as long as you could before you lost him in the crowd and turned your attention to your injuries. 

 

Now that you were warm and calm the pain radiating from your knee, shoulder, and even your palms had you gritting your teeth.  You’d really done a number on yourself. You wondered if you should head home, if being here would put unneeded stress on Simon, or if he would be upset with you for running into a dangerous situation like you had.  With a groan you picked at the bloodied hole in your jeans, wincing when the fabric pulled free from the clotted blood at your knee.

 

While you were looking down Simon was rushing past you.  He was looking for the crate of thirium that was being pulled out of storage.  Key word was. Unseen by you he slid comically to a halt after his processors registered you before he did.  Simon's eyes widened as he took in your disheveled and bloodied appearance. Had you been nearby when the riot started?  No, you'd called when the news crew arrived, or so his logs told him.

 

“____?” Simon broached.

 

“____!  I found a first aid kit!” Gina shouted, drowning out Simon as she jogged back up to your side.  You looked up, eyes searching for Gina and locking onto Simon instead. When Gina reached your side she immediately set to work, oblivious of the staring contest going on near her while she kneeled beside you and opened up the kit.  You chewed on your lip looking Simon's injuries over as he looked over yours. Each of you trying not to shift in building shame at the feeling of the other's eyes on you.

 

“SIMON!”  The searching yell for Simon made you both jump, breaking the tension that had been growing in the air.  

 

“What-?”  Gina said when your startle made you move out from under her hand.  She looked around and spied Simon who was now looking over towards the direction his name had been called with that signature frown on his face. “Ooooooh…” she snickered and tugged your knee back into place for her to clean and bandage.  Now she was fully invested in you and Simon.

 

“____, what are you doing here?” Simon asked when he turned back to you.  You raised an eyebrow at him. 

 

As if he didn't know.  

 

Simon remained silent.  You huffed a breath through your nose.  

 

He was the one who didn't tell you if he was alright!  But you couldn't get upset with him here, he needed to help his people and he didn't need you to make him look bad.  

 

“I'm going to walk away now,” Gina said, raising her hands in mock defense when you looked at her sharply.  “I will be back….in a bit. Need to throw these bloodied cloths away and you need some water. Especially since you threw up earlier,” she teased slyly.

 

“You what?” Simon exclaimed.

 

“Gina!” you hissed at her.  She grinned. Then she turned on Simon, her grin shrinking, and pushed the bottle of rubbing alcohol and a roll of gauze into his hands before walking away with the soiled cloths.  You reached up to take the bottle from Simon and he held it out of your reach.

 

“Simon, give me the alcohol so I can clean up,” you stood up, wincing at your knee in the process.  That was gonna be one helluva bruise. 

 

“Sit down,” Simon said, pushing you gently so you fell back onto the bench with a huff.  “Let me help.” His voice stern, but when you looked into his eyes you saw they were soft.  You scowled, guilt gnawing at your insides.

 

“But your people need you.  I can handle this,” you insisted.  Stubbornly, Simon sat beside you on the bench, turning you to check your shoulder and knee.  Your knee was bandanged as best as could be without removing your pants, but your shoulder was harder to get to.

 

“I have a few minutes.”

 

You sat in silence while he examined your shoulder, staring at his face, feeling your annoyance and relief and concern mixing with the butterflies that clogged your throat.  When he spoke again he looked up to see you staring at him, and despite the fact that the look on his face made you choke on all your words you didn’t break eye contact.

 

“Either we remove the sleeve of your shirt or you take it off,” he said softly.  He broke eye contact first. He was embarrassed. And to be honest, so were you. So you changed the subject.

 

“You’re injured, Simon,” you stated as if he wasn’t aware of that fact and reached out to brush your fingers against his arm.  “What happened?” Simon sighed at your question. “Simon I was worried! When you didn’t answer I thought the worst had happened!”  Your voice bit accusingly and he flinched.

 

Your nightmares.  He hadn’t thought...by not returning your call when he’d woken up after the blast you’d thought you lost him.  A stone sank into his gut.

 

“I was outside when the explosion hit, I was knocked into a wall.  I was knocked out.” Simon’s words were calm, but you barely noticed the fact he’d grabbed your hands to hold in his.  “I rebooted quickly, I only got hurt helping ward off an attack so we could get the more severely injured inside. I’m ok, but...I should have called you.”  He fell silent when you didn’t respond. You were breathing shallowly, quickly, and a quick scan told him of your elevated heart rate. How you looked now was not unlike the times you’d woken from a nightmare and hadn’t completely grounded yourself back in reality.  He squeezed your hands and said your name softly to try and draw you out. He really should have let you know he was ok.

 

For you, on the other hand you were running over what he’d said again and again.

 

_ He’d been within range of the blast. _

 

_ But he’s ok. _

 

_ He’d been knocked out. _

 

_ He’s still here. _

 

_ He could have been killed. _

 

_ But he wasn’t. _

 

_ He’s still willing to die for his people. _

 

_ One day he might. _

 

_ And it isn’t my right to tell him no. _

 

“Come on,” Simon said, guiding you up from the bench first aid kit in hand.  You snapped yourself out of your spiral and pulled back on his hand.

 

“Simon your people need you, why are you so worried about me?  I’ll keep!” You all but stomped your foot at his stubbornness.  He blinked, looking you over, and you swallowed.

 

You were pushing him away.  It made you sick that the only way you could think to protect yourself emotionally from the eventuality of losing Simon was to lose him by pushing him away.  You didn’t want to do it. You'd almost rather suffer the grief later than the grief, guilt, and regret you could already feel coursing through you now. And you didn't know which made you more selfish.

 

“I asked Josh for a short break and he said it was fine.  Most everyone that was injured has been helped, or is being helped right now and there are no life or death cases,” Simon relaxed his hold on your hand, silently offering you the chance to pull away.  He spoke to you calmly, trying to soothe your worries, the conflict in your eyes. Unfortunately, Simon couldn’t keep his own eyes from pleading, begging you not to pull away even while he offered you the chance.  When you didn’t pull away he continued talking, feeling relief wash over him.

 

“I’ll come back down to continue helping after.”

 

“You’re stubborn,” you muttered, earning you half an eye roll and a small but exasperated grin for your trouble.  Simon tightened his grip on your hand again and led you out of the med bay. He walked slow to accommodate for your limp.  The stairs he led you to made you grimace, but climbing them wasn’t as bad as you had expected them to be. You figured he was taking you to his room, they had kept it for him in case he needed it, and you would be right.  Simon needed to get you to a calm place where he could talk to you, and he needed to treat your shoulder, and in spite of all that had happened he couldn’t help but notice the warmth of your hand in his, or the rough feeling of the scrapes on your palm, so different than it felt normally.

 

When you reached his room you saw the couch still in the same place it had been.  Not much had changed, but there was something oddly intimate about being guided into Simon’s room by the hand.  Yes you’ve held his hand before, for different reasons, and yes you’d been in his room before with him, once here and often at home.  Yet you’d never been led into his room like this. You focused on the dull, throbbing pain of your injuries to distract and remind yourself for the real reason he brought you up here.

 

Silently you followed Simon to the couch, immediately feeling the loss of his hand from yours when he sat next to you to reopen the first aid kit.

 

“____…” he said quietly.  You looked up at him from your staring contest with the floor.  Simon looked almost embarrassed. “Could you remove your shirt please so I can treat your shoulder?” Simon asked.  You blinked, you would not be embarrassed by this, not now. You weren’t fifteen! 

 

“Alright.”  Before you could think anymore about what you were doing you pulled your shirt up over your head, hissing when it pulled away from your shoulder and removed some of the clotting.  You held your shirt in your hands and watched Simon’s face. His eyes widened at the bared sight of your injuries.

 

“How  _ did _ this happen?” Simon asked as he began to clean your shoulder, ignoring your hiss of pain and the way you flinched from the rubbing alcohol.

 

“I fell...on my bike,” you said.  “When you didn’t answer I freaked out, so I pulled out my bike and rode it here, nearly hit Gina not far from Haven.”  Simon pressed some gauze to your shoulder and began applying medical tape to keep it in place.

 

“I should have returned your call as soon as I woke up.  I’m sorry.” Simon apologized.

 

“Even a text would have been nice,” you chastised Simon, who had the sense to look ashamed.  Silence fell between the two of you as he finished with your shoulder. His fingers lingered on your skin after he’d finished securing the gauze to your shoulder before sliding down your arm, ever so gently, to pick up your hand.  You fought back the shiver at his touch and looked from his face to your hand in his. He turned it over, brushing his fingers against the scraped skin on your palm and then began cleaning that wound as well. He was more gentle than he had been with your shoulder, if that was even possible, cleaning your broken skin and then rubbing an antiseptic salve into it that soothed the sting.

 

First one hand then the other.  You were forced to leave your shirt on your lap and you were glad Markus had insisted that Haven had a decent heating system or you would have been frozen.

 

“Gina said you threw up,” Simon commented, rubbing the salve into your other palm.  

 

“When was the last time I rode my bike, Simon?  And I made it here in twenty minutes,” you said proudly, if not a little accusatory, as if this was still his fault.  Simon looked at you in surprise, his thumb coming to a stop in the center of your palm. “Give or take,” you added.

 

“I’m sorry,” Simon said again and you felt the rest of your irritation give way.  You sighed.

 

“It’s ok, Simon, I’m just….” you took a deep breath, looking away from his face, from those stormy eyes that had a plethora of irrational impulse ideas swarming your mind, and instead looked at the wound on his arm.  “I’m just glad you’re alright….alive…” You wished you could help him like he’d helped you, but bandaging his arm would do very little when he couldn’t heal naturally. You looked back up at Simon and swallowed. He was watching you closely, his expression unreadable and yet it made the back of your neck warm.

 

A nervous laugh bubbled out of you and your hand twitched in his.  Simon shifted his hand to hold yours.

 

“____…” he said quietly, brow furrowed in concern.

 

What did you say? What did you want him to say?  What - ?

 

Your thoughts cut off when Simon put his other hand on your cheek and pulled you forward to kiss your forehead.

 

That wasn't what you wanted him to do you realized.

 

“I  _ am _ sorry, and I'm glad you're ok.  I didn't realize how much the prospect of not seeing you again scared me until it was too late.”  Simon brushed your cheek with his thumb, resting his forehead against yours. His eyes were closed, but yours weren't.  You stared at him intently while he spoke. “I can't promise you I won't be in danger again, or that I won't get hurt again, but I don't want to lose you.  I can't.”

 

He sighed, squeezing your hand, and then opened his eyes.  

 

Oh he was so close, and while that normally might not have been a problem, the words stuck in your throat that had been playing on repeat in your head were mirrored in his eyes and it froze you like a gorgon’s stare.     
  
Why couldn’t you just interface with Simon like an android to show him how you felt?  Your worry, and relief, and love? Instead you were stuck sitting there, much too close to the man you’d give anything to keep safe and happy, and struggling to get your mouth to work to form any sort of coherent or meaningful words.

 

“____...I” Simon started, stopping when you pulled back from him.  You had only moved so you could look at him easier. So you waited, sitting as still as you could, hoping he would continue.  Instead he dropped his hand from your face and picked up your shirt from your lap, letting go of your hand in the process. You’d nearly forgotten you weren’t wearing it, but when he turned it right side out and handed it to you you looked away embarrassed and took it from his hands.  It was dirty, a little bloody, but it was covering so you pulled it on, shifting away from Simon on the couch. Then you stood up, your stomach in knots.

 

What had he been about to say?

 

Why did he stop?!   
  
You looked down at Simon and crossed your arms, then uncrossed them.  He looked as lost as you felt, staring at his hands in frustrated confusion.  A sigh left you as you dropped your arms to your sides.

 

You were both hopeless.

 

Simon startled when your hand came to rest on the crown of his head. He looked up at you and you moved to press your lips to his forehead.  You dismissed the thought regarding how soft his hair was and swallowed past your heart in your throat. When you straightened up you gave him a small smile.  Releasing his head you used your thumb to force Simon to smooth his worried expression.

 

“Simon, I lo-”

 

The door to his room swung open cutting you off in surprise and you jumped back from Simon as if you had been caught doing something you shouldn't have.


	6. No One Wins

North stood at the door, a scowl on her face.  You stood rigid, almost like you were at attention, awaiting the verdict of some sentence for a transgression you weren’t sure you committed.

  
  


“I’ve been looking everywhere for you Simon.  We need your help and I find you up here with your little human,” North scoffed.  Out of the corner of your eye you saw Simon stand up and move beside you. Your heart was pounding, and you didn’t dare turn to look at him, but you couldn’t stop the frown that crossed your face.

 

“Josh knew where I was, and he knew I was returning momentarily,” Simon said curtly.

 

“Josh didn’t send me,” North retorted, crossing her arms.  “Markus did.” Simon didn’t respond. North grinned sourly.  “Now if you are done giving your human special treatment, we have a mess to clean up.  No thanks to your kind,” she added, looking you up and down with disinterest. 

 

“North, enough!”  You and North looked at Simon in surprise.  You’d never really seen Simon angry. Annoyed?  Yes. Frustrated? With you that was inevitable.  But angry? 

 

Your eyes widened and you looked at North cautiously.

 

“The war is over, but this fight will never end if you and everyone else can’t let go of this blatant hatred.  Nothing will come of it except for more death and bloodshed, and as someone who is such a public figure for our kind, the example you set is seen by both races.  You need to learn to work with the humans, learn to forgive enough that you don’t talk down to every one of them you come into contact with, or you need to step back.”  Simon’s voice was cool and calm, but there was a subtle bite to his words that set your nerves alight. North opened her mouth, fire in her eyes, but Simon continued.

 

“It isn’t just about how you represent yourself in public, North, and if you continue to hate all humans for the actions of a few, then you are no better than the humans that condemn all androids for the same reason.  You will lose the aid and trust of those that truly want to help us. Now if you will excuse me,” Simon finished, picking up the first aid kit and moving to step past North into the hall. Quickly you moved to follow him only for him to turn and look at you.

 

“I want to help,” you said.  “Please.” You could see that Simon wanted to tell you to stay and rest, but you had him by the metaphorical balls after the speech he had just made and he knew it.  The corners of his mouth twitched out of his frown at your subtle play and he silently stood aside so you could limp your way out of the room. North watched you silently, eyes flicking to your impaired gait and back to Simon who was already back at your side, sighing at your insistence that you could get around just fine on your own thank you very much.  

 

Gina found you quickly when you reentered the med bay, walking up to you with a bottle of water in hand and an almost smug look to her face.  You accepted the water and refrained from saying anything. There was a burning irritation in the center of your chest, a feeling of mixed regret and missed opportunities, and frustration at North’s colossal bad timing.  Sure you could have told Simon what you had intended to say while you were walking back down stairs, but the moment had passed. The fates had decreed it wasn’t the time, or so you assumed with an internal shrug of defeat.  You also didn’t want to completely flip the mood after the speech Simon had given North. If anyone were to look at you they would have no idea about the disappointment you felt, but it was easy to see Gina’s disappointment at your lack of reaction to her silent shenanigans.  In the short time she’d come to know you she’d become fully invested in you and then in you and Simon. 

 

As for Simon, as soon as you were reunited with Gina he ensured she could help you find something to help with while he went to Markus.  He didn’t want to leave you, injured as you were, and especially not after what had transpired, and nearly transpired upstairs, but he had a duty to his friend and leader in this crisis.  Simon promised to return when he could and left you with a gentle squeeze to your hand. 

 

He wasn’t dumb. Clearly.  CyberLife didn’t program their androids to utterly fail at such context clues as what you had been interrupted from saying.  CyberLife didn’t, on the other hand, have anyway to program their androids from being complete and utter fools. 

 

When Simon reached Markus he was half paying attention, running through the events in his head again and trying to figure out what exactly had stopped him from telling you the truth.  What was stopping him from telling you the truth now? He could have told you before he left you with Gina. The fact that everytime he had tried had made his thirium pump feel like it was going to stop completely shouldn’t have been a factor in the first pl-   
  
“Simon?  Are you ok?” Markus asked, looking at his friend with a touch of concern rarely seen in public.  Shamefaced, Simon shook his head clear.

 

“I’m fine, how can I help?” Simon offered a placating smile and awaited his orders.  For a moment Markus looked at him, filing his questions aside for later.

  
  


You helped where you could back in the med bay.  You and Gina worked together to offer comfort to androids and humans alike, bringing containers of water or thirium as needed and other tasks that could be managed in your state.  Despite throbbing pain, exhaustion, and hunger you worked as hard as you could and declined breaks when they were offered saying the times when you sat with others to lend companionship and comfort were break enough.  Truth be told you didn’t feel you had the right to just stop. You hadn’t helped before when the androids needed it most, fear and then shame keeping you from stepping forward. That shame wasn’t something you’d been able to shake, not even something you’d been able to confess to Simon in the near half a year since he’d returned home.  By your logic, it  _ was _ something you could work off, you just needed to do enough.  The caveat here was you weren’t able to tell your desire to help apart from the selfish need to atone for not helping before, for being human.

  
  


Hours passed, night fell, and the police finally cleared the area outside. Arrests were made and the injured treated or taken to hospitals where needed.  Technicians were cleared to enter Haven and help with repairs and quickly the med bay emptied out until only a few androids still needing repairs remained along with the helpers, Markus’s people, you, Gina, the technicians, and a couple of detectives remaining from the DPD.  Now there was nothing left for you to do except succumb to your body’s need for nourishment and rest, and that was something you didn’t want to do yet.

 

“You know, I may not have been designed to take care of humans, but even I know if you don’t eat something soon you’re going to start having problems,” Gina pointed out.  You couldn’t deny it, you were already feeling light headed and nauseous, though that didn’t stop you from collecting trash and discarded containers to carry to the appropriate bins.  

 

“Could go home I guess, taxis should be cleared to come over here again,” you mused, facing the defeat you saw before you.

 

Sighing you finished depositing the items you held and went in search of Simon.  Gina was right, if you didn’t take care of at least the food aspect of your needs you were going to drop.  You found him with one of the technicians having his arm repaired. It was odd seeing the white plastic under his skin as he bared his arm for repairs.  When he saw you walking towards them he looked you over once and his smile turned into a disapproving frown. He knew what state you were in. There would be no arguing with him now.

 

“You need -”   
  
“I know, I was going to call a taxi, or at the very least a pizza,” you joked, waving off his chastisement preemptively.  Simon huffed. You ignored him. “You know, I don’t even remember if I locked the door when I ran out of the house.”

 

“____…” Simon said with a shake of his head, though there was no negative inflection to his words.  

 

“Probably should go home then.”  You didn’t want to, it was clear in your voice.  Now Simon’s frown turned into one of regret.

 

“I can’t, I need to be here tonight,” Simon admitted quietly.  

 

You’d expected that.   
  
“All done!” The technician said loudly, breaking the tension that had been growing.  “Make sure you drink some thirium soon to replace what you lost, other than that you are good to go.”  Simon thanked them, letting his skin return to cover his arm, and then stood up to close the distance between the two of you.  

 

Nerves exploded in your stomach and chest and you laughed.

 

_ Oh boy. _

 

“I’m glad you’re ok,” you said.

 

“Me too, but are  _ you _ ok?” Simon asked.  

 

_ Not even a little! _ _   
_ _   
_ “Yea, actually, I’m not looking forward to trying to taking a shower though.  That’s gonna suck-”   
  
__ I wish you could come home.

 

Simon grimaced sympathetically.  Yea that was not going to be fun, but you also weren’t fooling him.

 

“You might want to take a bath instead, then redress the wounds.”  You both knew you already knew that.   
  
_ Dammit. _

 

“Yes, well…” you dug your phone out of your pocket and pulled up the app to summon a taxi.  Beating around the bush was going to get you nowhere, this was ridiculous! “I’m afraid to go to sleep,” you admitted after a few moments, instantly regretting it.  Simon didn’t look surprised, though he did look relieved. 

 

There wasn’t anything he could do to help with this: he couldn’t go home, and he couldn’t have you come back to Haven and sleep on the couch in his room, he couldn’t even sit with you while you slept.  

 

“I know, I’m sorry, but I’ll be safe here.  I’m not going to run out and try to vigilante my way into danger,” he joked, referencing one of the shows you watched.  You swatted his newly fixed arm, feeling the knot inside of you loosen a little. 

  
  
  


He waited with you for the taxi as you fidgeted in silence.

 

When would he be able to come back home you wondered.  

 

You didn’t ask.

 

Gina stopped by to sit with the two of you for a bit, adding some much needed levity.  You hadn’t expected to find a friend in the middle of all of this, but you were grateful nonetheless.  She didn’t stay long, going to find her own friends around Haven, leaving you alone again with Simon, and all you could think about was your botched confession.   
  
_ Tell him now. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ No, what if he thinks he needs to stay with me then. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ You both know better than that. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Just say it. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ If something happens, you’ll regret it if you don’t.

 

Even when the taxi arrived and you braced yourself for the cold outside you couldn’t psych yourself up to finish what you started, unaware that Simon had been locked in his own back and forth battle.   
  
A battle he lost when he watched you close the door to the taxi and drive off.

 

“Now that was painful to watch.”

 

Simon turned to look at North who was standing with her arms crossed, Josh laughing silently beside her.  Simon scowled, but he didn’t have an argument for her, not when she was right, so he just walked back inside.


	7. The World Keeps Turning

When you got home you didn’t have an appetite, not much of one anyway, but you still felt ill.  Knowing Simon wouldn’t have approved you ordered a pizza, and if you were being honest you ordered it out of spite knowing he wouldn’t have approved.  He could lecture you later, when he was home, and safe, and with you.

 

The look on the delivery person’s face when they saw what state you were in nearly made you laugh.

 

_ “Are you ok?” _ _   
_ _   
_ __ “Oh!  Yup! Just an accident on my bike is all.  Sure made me hungry though, thanks!”

 

Hours later after much procrastination and a reluctantly full stomach you braved the sting of water on your wounds and took a shower.  Your muscles had gotten stiff, the mix of straining yourself on your bike, being on your feet nonstop and running back and forth to help in the med bay, and the adrenaline crash made you feel like you hadn't just taken a tumble on your bike, but that you'd been run over.  For fifteen minutes you stood in the hot water of your shower, wincing as it hit your wounds just to give your muscles some relief.

 

Looking at your handy work rebandaging yourself you noted the lack of finesse to the dressings.

 

_ “ _ He's gotta be perfect at everything,” you grumbled, eyeing yourself in the mirror.  “You know if you weren't such a chicken shit he might have said it back.” You pointed at the mirror, your reflection jabbed their finger back at you accusingly.   “Uugghhh.” You threw your hands up and limped to the couch. “Pathetic,” you mumbled, collapsing on the couch without grace. The couch groaned in response.

 

“Fuckin’ same,” you agreed, patting the worn piece of furniture.

  
  


You fell asleep on the couch with the news on.   

  
  
  


You looked at Simon through the window of the taxi, hand on the door handle.  He looked like he was going to say something, you thought, but he stepped back from the curb instead.

 

“Simon wait,” you said, stopping him from going back to the others.  You couldn't just leave like this, not yet dammit. Not again! You opened the door of the car.  You saw it before you knew what it was.

 

The cab door slammed shut forcing you back onto the seat, trapping you inside even as you watched in horror as the explosion grew in what felt like slow motion to engulf the androids, to engulf Simon, who looked at the reflection of the explosion in the car window, eyes widening even as it overtook him.  You didn't move - couldn't move, frozen in place. 

 

You could hear the television, casting your eyes to the side you saw it was the console screen of the taxi, replaying the blast.  Whatever the news anchor was saying you couldn't hear, you couldn't make out much of anything. 

 

If you had just told Simon, convinced him to come home where it was safe- 

 

When you forced your eyes back to the window and saw Simon standing there again, unharmed, no blast, you tried to force your limbs to move.  You just needed to open the door and pull him inside, he’d be safe then! But you couldn’t move, you begged silently, eyes boring into his as you whimpered in fear seeing the explosion rage into existence from behind him.  

 

Finally, just as the blast engulfed Simon before you, you managed to jerk forward towards the door- and hit the ground.  

 

You groaned, heart racing with adrenaline.  The news on the television was just finishing a broadcast on the explosion at Haven and it took you more than a few seconds to get your bearings.

 

You'd jerked in your sleep when you had reached for the car door in your dream and rolled off of the couch, the pain of hitting the floor with your freshly scabbing injuries pulling you from what had otherwise felt like an inescapable nightmare.  The problem now, was that even awake you still felt just as hopeless as you had in the dream. 

 

This was never going to get better if you didn’t talk to Simon about it.  All of it. You didn’t want to have these nightmares, these fears, and you often felt like you didn’t have a right to, but even you knew that was bullshit.  You cared about Simon, you worried about him, you’d lost him before, and you loved him. There was nothing wrong with you for reacting like this, even subconsciously.  Right? Weren’t you allowed to love him? To care? To be afraid of losing him? 

 

Didn’t he have a right to know?

  
  


You sat on the floor for about an hour, building conversations and speeches in your head to try to develop a plan that you could use.  In truth it was just a way to distract yourself, you knew that, and when you ran out of imaginary things to say you stared at the tv blankly.  

 

“After the attack today there isn’t much of a chance that anything will happen for a while,” you told yourself.  “They got officers there still, he’s safer there than anywhere else at the moment. His friends need him.” With a groan you pushed yourself up from the floor and stretched, your heart rate and breathing having returned to normal and the ache in your chest having receded.  You realized, when a picture of the Android Leaders crossed the screen on the news that if Simon were to die, it wasn’t just you who would feel it.

 

So maybe you weren’t alone.

  
  
  


You were getting ready for bed, later than usual, when your phone rang.  

 

It was Simon.

 

Without hesitation you answered it.

 

“Simon?”

  
  


“____,” he said.  “I’m sorry if I woke you up, but I didn’t think you would have gone to bed yet.”  A dry laugh escaped you, relief squeezing your heart.

 

“You thought right, I was just getting ready actually,” you admitted.  You heard Simon chuckle.

 

“Well, then I wont keep you, but I wanted to let you know that I was ok.”  His voice was soft, reassuring and you smiled. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“How are you?” he asked.  When you didn’t respond, trying to decide what to actually tell him over the phone, he continued.  “____? Did you fall asleep?” 

 

“Heh, no, no I didn’t,” you said quickly, lying.  “I’m - I’ve been better, I ate-”

 

“Pizza?” Simon teased.

 

“Pizza,” you confirmed.  “Yea, had some pizza, cleaned up...”  You were gesturing in the air as you spoke, though he couldn’t have known that.  You heard him hum to himself in thought before he spoke again.

 

“Did you sleep alright?” he asked gently, calling your bluff.  When you sighed, he got his answer, but he still waiting for you to tell him.

 

“No,” you finally confessed.

 

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will you?”

 

“No,” you said bluntly.  Then you apologized. “Sorry, I just don’t want to give you more distractions as it is.  We can talk soon though?” 

 

“Yes, soon!”  He didn’t say it, but your heard the promise in his words.

 

“I’ll hold you to it.  Good night, Simon,” you said quietly.

 

“Good night, ____,” Simon said.

  
  
  
  
  


Your alarm for work went off sooner than you hoped it would and begrudgingly you climbed out of bed.  You knew the day was going to drag on, but you knew as soon as work was over you would be going to Haven.  To help, and to talk to Simon.

 

You friends at work saw the state you were in immediately and asked you if you had been at Haven when the blast went off.  They were relieved when you told them you weren’t there for the explosion, but you were surprised when they asked about Simon with the same level of concern.  It was touching, validating, to know that your friends cared about the people you cared about, for your sake, and it made the loneliness of the situation feel even less than it had the night before.  

 

Despite yourself, you found the work day not nearly as bad as you had expected, even enjoying lunch with your deskmate in the bar across the street.  Somehow the day snuck past you. A relief though it was, and given the way you had cheered some throughout the day you faced the trip to Haven with new enthusiasm.  The previous day still haunted you, but for just this moment you felt confident in what you were going to do.

  
  


That was, until you exited the building to see a familiar face waiting for you.

 

Markus.


	8. The Spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put all of the remaining chapters up at once, and I'm really very glad that this fic found a conclusion! I hope you enjoyed this slow sizzle of a ride!
> 
> There might be one more chapter in the future with a list of my ideas for spin off fics or AUs for this fic that I likely wont be writing but still would like to share with everyone. As for Simon Says, this is it. Thank you again everyone!

Your mind reeled. 

 

_ What’s going on? _ was your first thought, followed quickly by,  _ what did I do? _

 

Slowly you walked over to Markus, astonished that he was even risking himself to be here, and surprised that he had somehow made it without being accosted by journalists and the like.  When he greeted you, face neutral, you could only manage a nervous greeting in response.

 

“I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment, ____,” Markus said.  All you did was nod and he turned to begin walking away, pulling his hood up.  You stood frozen in your sport before you realized he intended for you to follow him.  Quickly you moved to catch up and fell into step a little behind Markus. He was quiet for a long while, and the silence made you antsy.  It was you who broke it first.

 

“Is something wrong, Markus?” you asked him tentatively.

 

_ Please say no, please say no- _

 

“No, nothing is wrong,” he said.  Markus slowed his steps until he was level with you.  “I wanted to talk to you about Simon, and before you begin to follow an irrational thought pattern it isn’t anything bad.”  You looked at Markus in confusion, and for the first time since he’d greeted you outside your work he looked at you and smiled.  It was a small smile, but it stopped you from beginning to worry.

 

“A-alright then, what’s up?” you asked, offering a smile in return.  Markus looked back in front.

 

“I know you care about Simon, a lot,” he stated.  Yea, there was no point in denying that. “I also know that he cares about you, and from what I’ve seen of you two...well, mostly Simon, is that you both worry more than is healthy.”  You gaped at Markus.

 

“Ok but-”

 

“It doesn’t take a supercomputer to understand that losing Simon hurt you,” Markus continued, glancing at you.  “And that the possibility of Simon being in danger, or  _ dying _ , hurts you everyday.  So you worry about him, and he worries about you.”  You barely registered the fact that Markus had lead you to a nearby park until he took a seat on a bench and leaned forward until his elbows were on his knees and he was peering up at you from under his hood.

 

“I’m sorry, Markus, I don’t want to be a distraction.  Truly, I don’t,” you said sincerely, meeting his two tone eyes with your own.  You watched him raise an eyebrow and then he chuckled, barely, but still you felt unbalanced.  What exactly was the point to him telling you all of this?

 

“When we broke into the news station to make our broadcast, Simon, North, and Josh were with me.  I didn’t want to hurt any humans, believing, to this day, that to kill a human would make us no better than them, no offense-”

 

“None taken, believe me.”  You held up your hands and Markus nodded.

 

“On top of that, we would be no closer to peace.”  Markus took a deep breath, and you watched him curiously as he directed his gaze to his hands.  “Because of my choice, Simon was shot. He told me to leave him behind, so did North, but I couldn’t leave Simon there to  _ die _ ,” Markus explained, meeting your eyes again with a serious expression.  “Not because he was one of us, not because I felt it my duty, but because he was my friend.  Everything could have been lost, and I would have rather the risk, than to lose Simon.” Your mind was reeling from what Markus told you, and while you face remained blank inside you were on one helluva rollercoaster.

 

_ Simon could have died?! _

 

_ But I had already thought he was dead...it wouldn’t have changed a thing for me, but- _

 

You looked at Markus hard, searching his face for something you couldn’t find.

 

_ Damned androids, can’t tell what they’re thinking by looking at them _ .

 

“Thank you,” you said, pouring as much emotion into those words as possible so he knew you were grateful before you said what you said next.  “But you really didn’t have to tell me this, these kinds of things are exactly why I worry. I don’t…,” you sighed, “look, I know it's natural to worry.  It isn’t natural to have nightmares like I do. It isn’t even fair to Simon that he has to deal-”

 

“Chooses,” Markus said simply.  You blinked, stunned for a second.

 

“What?”

 

“He  _ chooses _ to be a part of your life, and he  _ chooses _ all of the good and bad that comes with that.  Nightmares,” Markus almost smirked, “ _ bike accidents _ , your fussing over him when he doesn’t take any time for himself.”  The way he said that almost sounded like a question.

 

“I...I mean….” you fell silent and took a seat beside Markus on the bench.  He sat up and patted your knee encouragingly.

 

“____, I didn’t tell you this to make you worry, I told you this to help with your worry,” Markus placated.

 

“I don’t understand.”  You looked at Markus in confusion and he leaned back into the bench.

 

“There comes a certain amount of danger and responsibility with being a figurehead for our kind.  It isn’t a job to take lightly,” Markus explained. “But we take care of each other, Simon isn’t going to rush into danger, and I’m not going to leave him behind to die.”  Your eyes widened at what Markus was saying. “Simon is who he is because of you, and you love him-” You made a strangled sort of noise at being called out, and the corner of Markus’s eyes crinkled from the smile he was trying to fight.  “You worry about him, for good reason, but you need to know you aren’t alone. Whatever happens, you aren’t alone. He worries about you. I believe he would do damn near anything for you, ____,” Markus stated with a soft laugh.

 

“No! But I...I don’t want to be in the way,” you admitted.  “I want to be honest, I want to get a handle on this, but I understand that I’m a liability.  A fragile human.” Markus stared at you and you hated yourself for admitting these things to him.  You didn’t want pity, you didn’t want anyone to feel like they  _ had _ to be there for you, but you needed to say this.  Your mouth twisted into a frown as you spoke. “If he worries about me, if something happens to me, mentally, physically, and he gets distracted then we’ll both feel bad if he neglects his duties to his people, and besides that whAT IF HE GETS HURT BECAUSE OF ME?  AGAIN?!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in exasperation. Something loosened in your chest at the confession of what was eating at you. 

 

“Are you done?” Markus asked softly.  You nodded. “Ok, first of all, the entire point of this,” Markus waved his hand around to gesture at everything, “the point of procuring our rights, was so that we were equal.  So we can coexist, take care of each other, live in this world  _ together _ .  Just because you are human, makes you no less than any of us, and you aren’t in the way.  Family is never in the way.” You looked up at his words. You saw the emotions that for a brief moment filled his eyes.  “You need to understand that Simon is his own man, he makes his own decisions just like the rest of us, and he’s chosen to be a part of your life.  Countless humans in history have had friends and family while fighting for something they believe in, knowing the risk, and staring it in the face just so they could find peace with the ones they care about.”  

 

You were silent.  

 

You were silent because he was right.

 

“How do I help him?” you asked looking down at your hands in your lap.  “Markus,” you looked at your companion, “how can I help?”

 

Maybe, if you could help him, if you could help  _ them _ , you could build the confidence you somehow lost.  Perhaps you could help make this world safer so you didn’t  _ have _ to worry about Simon getting blown up by some jackass with an agenda against the whole of Android kind.  Maybe…

 

Markus smiled, the first full smile he’d shown you.  Relief, understanding, pride, you weren’t sure what emotions you saw on his face, but you just wished he’d  _ say _ something.

 

“There it is,” he said suddenly.  You made a face. 

 

“What-?” you prompted.

 

“The spark.  For whatever reason that you found, or whichever reason found you, it made a spark, something for you to fight for.  I’m not saying it will help the nightmares, or the worrying, but it makes you strong. Selfish or selfless, it doesn’t matter,” he said before you could begin to doubt yourself.  “Everything starts somewhere, even if it's for the sake of one person. Simon’s spark was you.” You felt your face warm, and your eyes burned with the warning of tears. You took a deep breath instead.  

 

“If you want to help Simon, being there for him, making sure he takes care of himself is one way to do it.  If that makes you feel too idle, and you feel like you aren’t doing enough, we could use a friendly face.” It was an offer, a way to help.  

 

“Dammit,” you muttered rubbing at your eyes.  Your deep breath hadn’t done anything to stem the tears.  You laughed, even as Marku put his hand on your back in support.  The relief, the weight that had been pulling you deeper and deeper felt so much lighter.  It was like you had been carrying something heavy, and now that you weren’t, your balance was off and gravity felt weird.  “Fuckin’ hell,” you said with a watery chuckle. You wiped at your face again. 

 

“Hey, its ok,” Markus said with a chuckle.  “Come on, I take it I intercepted you on your way to Haven?”  You made a face, or tried to anyway.

 

“Well if I really am that easy to read,” you said semi sarcastically.

  
  
  
  


Markus accompanied you back to Haven, parting ways with you once inside.  He wished you luck, and you knew without him having to say it that you were welcome there, that you had a place there.  You weren’t sure how you could help, but maybe Markus had a point, just being at Haven could help. Androids that feared or hated humans would need to start somewhere, and humans that were on the fence or the other side of it entirely would need to see others proving them wrong.  You wouldn’t be the first human to visit Haven, not by a longshot, but one spark, with a bunch of other sparks, can make one helluva firework, and fireworks were beautiful.

  
  


You wandered Haven, located where the medical supplies had been stored and refixed your bandages.  Then you went to look for Simon.

 

You didn’t find him for a long while, but you did find Gina, who eagerly introduced you to her own friends.  They were interested in the human that nearly killed herself to make sure her android “friend” was safe. Somehow, your presence attracted the attention of a couple of the other humans that were visiting Haven and before long you were sitting with a wide collection of androids and humans, talking.  

 

And it wasn’t even about anything important.  You learned that one android used to be a baker, and then you learned one of the humans there was a baker herself.  One android used to be a children’s doctor, and another used to be a preschool teacher. A male human said he was an art teacher, and he’d brought his son to Haven where he would feel welcomed.  You learned his son was a child android and the way he looked at his father made you smile. You couldn’t keep track of names very well, but you learned so much.

 

You weren’t the only human that felt shame from not helping the androids during the revolution.  You weren’t the only person who had gone to Haven in search of someone dear. 

 

You weren’t alone.

 

That was where Simon found you, laughing with Gina while the child android tried to show you how to properly shuffle cards.  Gina nudged you, tapping your knee and tilting her head meaningfully behind you. You looked behind you, still laughing when you saw Simon and you focus narrowed.  Gina took the cards from your hand before you dropped them, or took them with you, and you left your seat quickly. 

 

Simon couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  Yes, he’d seen humans and android mingling in Haven before, but not this many, and not with this much laughter.  He’d been on the upper level of the room when he’d heard your laughter, and he’d followed it here to see you fumbling with playing cards much to the amused dismay of a YK500 model android.  Now you were walking towards him, quickly, and his processors couldn’t work fast enough for him to decide what he wanted to do, or say.

 

You crossed the distance before he’d made a move, and you didn’t stop.

 

Simon barely had time to look surprised when you reached up to put your arms around his neck, and he didn’t fight you when you pulled him down closer to you.  He  _ did _ nearly short circuit when you kissed him.  Nearly.

 

You were tired of hiding it, and ignoring it, and running from it.  You loved Simon, and while your nerves bit at your heels you ignored them, if only for a moment.  Your lips were gentle against his, the kiss was chaste, and you watched as Simon’s eyes widened with surprise and then before you could pull away they slid shut and his arms wrapped around your back.  

 

He returned your kiss, tentatively at first, and then with more love and passion than you thought to expect.  Your own eyes closed and you smiled against Simon’s lips. He hugged you close, one hand at the back of your head, and when you giggled breathlessly he pulled back, his own laughter soft and warm.  

 

“You know if I had been any other PL-600 model-” Simon started to tease, but you cut him off, patting his cheek with one of you hands.

 

“I’ll always know it's you Simon, I always did,” you stated.

 

“Yes, well-”   
  
“I love you, Simon,” you said firmly before he could keep going with his ridiculous thought.  His smile widened, and his thirium pump sent a warning to his interface which he happily ignored in favor of kissing you again.  This one was brief, but he left his forehead resting against yours.

 

“I love you too,” he said, voice soft, staring into your eyes, his own warm.  You breathed a sigh of relief and closed your eyes, willing the moment to last for just a second more.

 

Finally you pulled away, aware of the show you were putting on for the group of people behind you.  Simon kept you close, though, studying your face, committing you and this moment to his memory banks as clearly as he could.

 

“Something’s happened,” he said after a moment.  There was a brightness to your eyes he hadn’t seen in a long while.  His thumb smoothed down the side of your face. You only grinned at him, heart slowing finally.

 

“I’m going to love you for as long as I possibly can,” you promised.  You grabbed his hand and shifted it so you could kiss his palm, silently sealing your promise.

 

“Did something happen?” he asked you with a soft laugh and a confused expression.

 

“You’re my spark.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr if you'd like! same username: [VividlyLost](https://vividlylost.tumblr.com) OR at my new writing blog [Viv Writes](https://vividlywriting.tumblr.com) where I will answer asks about my writing and even take some prompts.
> 
> And if you like this story, I have a series of oneshots I've been working on! [More Than My Programming](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1053845) And I've got a couple more things to go in there soon, so keep an eye out!
> 
>    
> Shout out and huge thanks to my beta reader [Em](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disillusionist9/pseuds/disillusionist9) !


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